I would like to tell the world that when I approached the Hot Gates of TSA Insecurity that I stood firm, held my ground and announced boldly “Go! Feel my junk for today I wear no underpants and refuse to be scanned by your machine!”... yes, that would have made a good story for the blog. Instead, I shuffled along and meekly protested with hard looks at the bored and distracted employees and whispered a half-hearted and silly sounding “I surrender” (like the French) as I stood with my arms raised above my head as my un-underwear’d manhood got pelted by who knows how much radiation and x-ray stuff, and I didn’t even have a boner to show off. That and the quiet and anti-climactic farewell to my family at the gate as I trudged into line for the scan-o-ma-bob made for a very awkward and slightly disheartening beginning to my first flight.
The flight itself got a little better as I was luckily given a Business Class seat next to a Giant Fat Man who, in coach, would have crushed me instantly and for the entire flight. As it was I was saved with ample wiggle room and two plush armrests to spare in a nice plush and leather seat the entire ride. This ended up being perfect as I instantly passed out on sitting down. The last thing I truly remember before waking up on touchdown is the slight mesmerizing effect of the line of faces as the other (coach) passengers took to their seats.
This was something I had actually tried to avoid with coffee earlier because I knew that of the two flights that day, that the first and shorter (2 hours) one was not the ideal “pass out” flight as I figured I would be groggy while finding my next flight and would not be able to sleep at all on the longer flight to LAX (4 hours), not to mention having to stay awake until boarding. Sadly, these predictions were all true and while I did not sleep a wink on the flight to LA, was in coach the entire time and kept on getting whacked by the stewardesses as they handed out two measly crackers during the flight the trip was for the most part enjoyable and not difficult in the least. A working wifi connection provided ample relief from boredom and while the seats may not have been plush leather, they were in fact quite comfortable and at no time did I feel any envy to the current business class passengers (though it did take much longer to get on and off the plane).
One thing does worry me though, and that is at about halfway through the flight, after glimpsing a series of mountain ranges which I took to be the Rockies, I packed up my laptop and sat in quiet anticipation of our soon-to-be landing. This happened a little under two hours short of the actual landing, a fact that I did not discover until a half an hour later from a stewardess. In itself this is not so bad, as I was able to re-unpack my laptop and begin surfing the web again in earnest, but getting the feeling that I had passed 4 hours in only a little over 2 does not bode well for my future 14 and 4 hours flights to Taipei and Bangkok on Monday.
The flight itself got a little better as I was luckily given a Business Class seat next to a Giant Fat Man who, in coach, would have crushed me instantly and for the entire flight. As it was I was saved with ample wiggle room and two plush armrests to spare in a nice plush and leather seat the entire ride. This ended up being perfect as I instantly passed out on sitting down. The last thing I truly remember before waking up on touchdown is the slight mesmerizing effect of the line of faces as the other (coach) passengers took to their seats.
This was something I had actually tried to avoid with coffee earlier because I knew that of the two flights that day, that the first and shorter (2 hours) one was not the ideal “pass out” flight as I figured I would be groggy while finding my next flight and would not be able to sleep at all on the longer flight to LAX (4 hours), not to mention having to stay awake until boarding. Sadly, these predictions were all true and while I did not sleep a wink on the flight to LA, was in coach the entire time and kept on getting whacked by the stewardesses as they handed out two measly crackers during the flight the trip was for the most part enjoyable and not difficult in the least. A working wifi connection provided ample relief from boredom and while the seats may not have been plush leather, they were in fact quite comfortable and at no time did I feel any envy to the current business class passengers (though it did take much longer to get on and off the plane).
One thing does worry me though, and that is at about halfway through the flight, after glimpsing a series of mountain ranges which I took to be the Rockies, I packed up my laptop and sat in quiet anticipation of our soon-to-be landing. This happened a little under two hours short of the actual landing, a fact that I did not discover until a half an hour later from a stewardess. In itself this is not so bad, as I was able to re-unpack my laptop and begin surfing the web again in earnest, but getting the feeling that I had passed 4 hours in only a little over 2 does not bode well for my future 14 and 4 hours flights to Taipei and Bangkok on Monday.
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